Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Everyday Motivation

The morning was quiet. The sun had already revealed its presence to the world with the same scream of light it always did. Light, but not warmth. The covers didn't want to let me go. The added warmth of TheWife next to me added to the comfort of bed.

But, eventually you've got to face the world, whether its freezing...and in the middle of April!...or not. Besides, life is good, so there isn't any reason to hide away in bed like a black Brian Wilson. I can hear half my readership opening a tab and googling "Brian Wilson." You've just learned something new today. You're welcomed.

See, that's how life works. Just like the bulk of you, I wake up every morning better than I was the previous morning. I'm a little bit smarter, or healthier, or more flexible, or less poor, or more wise, or a little prettier. Maybe my sex count went up by one. Or three. Maybe my reputation got a little better.

Seven out of ten days, I'm a better man when I wake up. But, I have to force myself to remember that. See, unlike most of you, I wake up every morning reminding myself that I am a fat piece of shit and I should not have eaten that double scoop of butter caramel ice cream from the Parlour last night. I remind myself that I am struggling to build a business and that a ton of people are counting on me, "so try not to mess it up, loser!" I wake up to the thought that I'm older and that I haven't gotten as far as my neighbor or my cousin or Robert Downey Jr or that guy from Saved By The Bell.

"Of course you can't compare to me, mortal."

It's habit.

But, reality sets in.

I throw the covers back and put my feet on the floor. I look around at the sun filtering through the blinds. I see my dogs sleeping like the world has never been more safe. I look around at the paintings I've done, and the souvenirs from far away lands I've visited. I remember that I ran 5 miles yesterday, and that I have a meeting today with a guy that may be giving me a building. A fucking BUILDING!

I stand up and take a deep breath and see my shadow against the wall. And, yes, at first I see the shadow of my love handles, making my shadow look like I'm holding a tire swing against my chest. But, reality sets in once again. And I realize I'm seeing the old me. Yes, the new me still has a gut, but that gut is smaller than it was yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It's not the same size as what I saw at first. That vision was habit.

But, as Mulder would say, "the truth is out there." And I remind myself that, in truth, I'm a little bit smarter, or healthier, or more flexible. I'm a little less poor, or more wise. And, yeah, I think I'm a little prettier.

And I remember that, unless I get hustling, I won't be able to say that again tomorrow.