Thursday, January 10, 2013

No Need for New Year's Resolutions

Every year many people say to themselves that they want to be thinner or more fit or smoke less or laugh more or see more things are touch more stuff or masturbate more/less. They schedule workouts, join the gym, set up get-togethers with friends, convert the third bedroom to a yoga studio or pull all of the unread books off the shelf and stack them next to their bed.

And that's great. Good intentions are wonderful. But it's for suckers. Screw the New Year's Resolution! We don't need it.

We don't need it because we are fucking awesome! Look in a mirror. Go ahead. Got some belly flab? Who gives a shit? Right now someone is thinking about trying to get you into bed. Taken? Someone is probably wondering how hard it would be to steal you from your man/woman/inanimate infatuation. Someone wishes they had your hair or your pecs or your girl or your kid. Someone wishes they had your discipline or your sense of humor or your sense of style. Someone wishes they had the energy to go to as many parties as you do, or had the willpower to say no so that they could relax at home as often as you do. Someone either wants to be you or they want to be sitting in your lap. And why wouldn't they. You're a goddamned legend!

I'm too sexy for this shirt!

I'm not saying you should spend the year resting on your laurels. Just the opposite. We might be gods and goddesses, but we not only CAN improve, but we WANT to improve. And we don't wait until the beginning of the year to do it. We set regular goals.We change the things in our lives that suck. If it's August, we don't wait another 120 days to do what we need to do. We do it then and there. Oh, MAYBE we wait until Monday, but that's only so that we can indulge in some guilty pleasure over the weekend. But waiting till the New Year? That's for amateurs.

Wait 'til they get a load of me!

We'll do more push ups this week than we did last week. We'll have more conversations with our family. We'll spend more time on the couch with a loved one. We'll eat more veggies. We aren't doing it because of some once-a-year resolution. We do it because, as amazing as we are, we know we can be better.

This does not apply to everyone. Some people have the drive of a '89 Geo Storm and the willpower of tired 3-year old. But I know my demographic. If you're reading this then the odds are good that you have no need for New Year's Resolution. Odds are good that you are going to have a New Year's Resolution, a January 14th Resolution, a June 3rd Resolution, and a bunch more. Great people improve when they damned well want to, not when the calendar says they should. And I suspect, my friend, that you are one of the great ones.

And as amazing as you are now, you're going to be even more amazing when midnight of January 1, 2014 rolls around!

What was your last amazing "resolution"? We'd love to hear about it and about how successful it was.


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